I know its been ages since I sat to write but hope you understand my predicament.
Its not that i forgot about your existance or essence but because Lately I’ve been busy.I’ve been T
oo busy seated on one position with nothing but guns and bullets.
I don’t even remember the taste of food,the way it feels to walk or the way it feels to just seat in the cold refreshing bath tub and forget about life.
Ive forgotten how it feels to have a caring touch,how cold ice cream is,having someone peck me and just say they loved me,
how it feels to have someone rub my back or jump on me when I come back from work.I’ve forgotten myself
Life in Africa ain’t a joke as expected. I wish I never came here in the first place.
Dont blame me but yesterday I had to shoot a kid. just a young boy in his early childhood. He was hungry ,all alone,with no shirt,barefooted looking for his mother i bet.
Startled by the noise in the Bush,mistaked him for a hostile,i released fired,i fired and fired.
I fired not until i saw who it was,moved closer to him as i stood in shock.silence became too loud,echoes within my soul crying and demons celebrating.I saw him gasp for air as he struggled to breath,eyes crying for help as he moved his little fingers to touch my boot.”what have I done?”was all my mind could process.
Cried my eye balls out from dusk till dawn,
My hands trembling and heart racing as I seat on my position praying we abort the mission.
The pain is too much I need someone to talk to,I need a friend,a confidant, one i can share my experience with,i need my wife.I need my wife or else I will lose it.
sorry but the general is approaching I can’t continue writing, see you next time when I write if I’ll still be alive but incase I don’t make it,Find your way to the arms of my loving wife.
Drowning in my own tears,i seat to larment As I seat and write on this broken old bench of the train station.
The train is about to take off,everyone is inside but I am here writing.Trying to remember a glimpse of her beauty,trying to inhale the air of my hometown one last time,trying to…….say…goodbye
As I embark on this quest, I have nothing but one pending request in my chest,
In case I don’t make it back alive,would you please convey these messages I’ve sat to enscribe in you?
Would you Please be there to remind my wife of her beauty,be there to tell her how much I will miss her?When she’s down and lonely will you be there to remind her of the time when I teased and made fun of her,all those times we fought endlessly until she won or how she laughed uncontrollably at my terrible voice when I sang?Truth be told,I still think am a good singer.
When she’s tired of living,will you please tell her of that day I carried her on my back when she got too tired to walk during the hiking?will you Be there to remind her of how strong she was whenever I was down?when she’s weak will you please just read out loud that beautiful poem I wrote for her? In Case she forgets the meaning of life or happiness,will you remind her of my love for her?show her the memories we shared and time together we spent?will you?
I have a lot to say but then only a few seconds left before the train leaves, i wish we had enough time together but then I have a war to fight.
I don’t know if I’ll have enough time to write because am going to Africa.A place where guns are heard after every mini second. Where bullets fly so high that no birds can even be seen flying,a place where bodies of women and Kids are burnt daily even the sky changed from blue to black.I’m supposed to survive because iam a trained and qualified soldier.I have been taught self defence,how to attack,how to feed,how to be fast but hey!this is Africa am talking about.Land of the brave, strong and energetic.A land so big and wide with wildlife and green vegetation.All in all please pray for my safe return,will write again when I can(signed )
TO BE CONTINUED………….. LIKE/COMMENT/SHARE/TAG
Tomorrow I have to take off for war,I’ll be gone for some time and honestly I don’t even know if I’ll make it back alive.
I’ve been trying to make myself smile lately but its not working out.I dont know why but It feels Like I have lost control of my body because I can’t stop crying,I can’t stop shaking and its freaking me out.
Well guess what?
Today i gathered my strength and Broke the news to her.My lost rib,my doctor when am sick,my best friend in all weather and partner in crime.That woman whose loved,supported and cared for me me unconditionally.My wife.
Like expected she just gave me a kiss on the forehead and smiled.I know She was being suportive but in her eyes I could see her grieve,For the first time in my life i could see my hero break.I saw how she struggled to stand On her feet or even hold the glass cup.I could see her heart beat vigorously almost ripping her chest apart.I watched the adrenaline flow through her veins sending electrical shocks as she lifted her cup and shouted out loud “To my sergeant!My love,my life,cheers!”
Was that supposed to be cheers or tears?I don’t know either.
I know she’s Strong and brave but then its hard.knowing she will be alone,knowing i cannot touch or caress her,not being able to see her beautiful face each and every day when I wake up.Its so unbearable that just the thought of that fact makes me wanna cry but then soldiers don’t cry do they?
What if I don’t return?what if this is goodbye?What if….i….die?
TO BE CONTINUED……… HOW IS IT SO FAR???DONT FORGET TO LIKE AND SHARE……..LOVE YOU!
They say Love hurts,
I say i know the perfect example of a person love has hurt.
You have loved so diligently and perfectly
On countless occassions did you give yourself to his preying habits
One countless occasions did you offer yourself unwillingly to quench his thirst for lust
On your cracking bones he has always feasted,
On your breaking spirit he has always trampled
Of your loving and caring heart he takes advantage
Hurting you is a hobby
You have become his sex toy,
You always feel lonly
He beats and insults you in the face of the whole community.
Yet you still stay.
He changed your name to bitch
Doesnt it ever itch?
How many times shall he say sorry?
How many times will you listen to his silly and fake apologies?
How many times will you drop the charges all in the name of love?
How many times?
Why not walk away?
Just walk away.
He says he loves you,does he ever show it?
He says he can die for you,has he ever stood up for you?
He says he would die if he lost you then why does he want to kill you?
He says you are the best out of the rest,why doesnt he treasure you?
Just walk away
For how long shall you weep?
For how long are you going to pray for a better day?
For how long will you let him torture you?
For how long will society laugh at you for being a fool?
For how long will your skin be covered in scars?
If i were you and you were me
I would “walk away”
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“Life is a game”It is always easy and predictable at the start but changes as time changes. level after level(year after year)you get to advance to another level which is a bit advanced than the last one.Life just like every game,its all about making the right choice, that one choice that will make you get nice results at the end of the day.The control and remote is always in your hands awaiting instructions. Point is,life gives you what you give in.If you live a life full of lies,cheating and drinking don’t expect a happy ending of any sort and on the other hand if your life is filled with love,honesty, hard work etc then be assured of something better.Most times we complain about life not being fair or the other thing but have you sat to think why others are always celebrating instead? Have you ever tried to carry out a census and find out what they are doing which you have never done? Is life fair or hard? I would say yes but it gets harder if you don’t know how to play and live it.”Life is a game so know how to play it and not it playing you”